How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it. So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.
Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn't you know it....
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
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